Watch What You Say When You're Over 50 Kendal
Language, what we say and how we say it, creates an impression on which other people judge us. If you’re over 50 and your vocabulary is no longer up to date and your tone is less than vibrant, then it’s almost certain that people will start to think of you as old and past your best, as this article explains.
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Watch What You Say When You're Over 50
Be honest now. If you’re over 50 how many times in the last week have you justified a momentary lapse of concentration or memory loss by saying, ‘I’m having a senior moment’, or ‘It’s my age’? How often did you preface any sentence with the words, ‘At my/our time of life…’? Or even worse, ‘In my day…’?
How frequently did you use the killer phrase ‘I remember when…’? Or justify some failing by saying ‘It was different when I was young’?
If your answer was ‘quite often’ then you’re not alone. If you listen to most over 50s you’ll hear them using these and many similar phrases regularly, often in a very self-deprecating way.
Okay, usually the intention is to make light of our failings and idiosyncrasies which can be very entertaining and amusing, but underneath there is a more sinister force at work. Through speaking and presenting ourselves to the world in this way we are reinforcing ageist stereotypes that we otherwise fight so hard against.
By talking ‘old’ we’re making ourselves ‘old’.
It’s as if we are using our mode of speech as a defence mechanism. By saying, in effect, ‘I recognise that I am ageing and I am not as capable as I once was,’ we avoid the danger of being laughed at, pitied or ridiculed.
As a common response to a threatening situation this would appear reasonable if it wasn’t for the fact that if we believe that we are essentially vibrant, capable, energetic and powerful people then there’s nothing that we need to justify in this way.
Making a good impression
If you listen to a conversation without being able to see who’s speaking, you can often tell how old people are by the specific words they use, and the way they frame their opinions and attitudes. But sometimes people who you assumed were really elderly turn out to not to be. Might one of them be you?
Perhaps you think it doesn’t matter in your daily life, talking with your friends and family, but it certainly does in situations when you want to make a good first impression, and also in the workplace where you need to hold your own against younger colleagues.
The good news is you don’t have to change much, just remember a few simple tips:
• Banish the word ‘ageing’ from your mind in relation to yourself – if you think ‘old’, you can guarantee you’ll start to sound that way too.
• Ensure your vocabulary is up-to-date. Unfortunately we can’t do much about the name we were given which often pigeon-holes us as being born in a particular era, but if you’re fond of using words like ‘wireless’, ‘chum’, ‘groovy’, you need to stop (there’s thousands more but you may not recognise how anachronistic they sound, so ask your friends and family if you’re not sure). Make sure also that you understand new acronyms (e.g.wifi, and BOMAD) and terminology (e.g. iPod, and McJob) which demonstrates that you are in the mainstream and up to date.
• Watch your intonation and breathing. Regardless of what they’re actually saying, some people just sound old because their voices lack enthusiasm or their posture and breathing is poor, creating a generally downbeat effect. Don’t let yourself physically slow down in this way. If in doubt, listen to a recording of yourself and be critical. Practice injecting more energy into your speech.
• Finally, be careful about extraneous noise such as sighs, grunts, groans or other elderly and unappealing sounds. Really old people tend to use them as both commentary and punctuation to their lives and also tend to irritate others hugely by doing so. For anyone except the truly elderly, they’re completely inappropriate. If you’re guilty of this, stop it at once!
• Finally, try not to be grumpy. We’re all allowed to be sometimes, but don’t make it your general approach.
Click here for more information about being Primetastic from in my prime
How frequently did you use the killer phrase ‘I remember when…’? Or justify some failing by saying ‘It was different when I was young’?
If your answer was ‘quite often’ then you’re not alone. If you listen to most over 50s you’ll hear them using these and many similar phrases regularly, often in a very self-deprecating way.
Okay, usually the intention is to make light of our failings and idiosyncrasies which can be very entertaining and amusing, but underneath there is a more sinister force at work. Through speaking and presenting ourselves to the world in this way we are reinforcing ageist stereotypes that we otherwise fight so hard against.
By talking ‘old’ we’re making ourselves ‘old’.
It’s as if we are using our mode of speech as a defence mechanism. By saying, in effect, ‘I recognise that I am ageing and I am not as capable as I once was,’ we avoid the danger of being laughed at, pitied or ridiculed.
As a common response to a threatening situation this would appear reasonable if it wasn’t for the fact that if we believe that we are essentially vibrant, capable, energetic and powerful people then there’s nothing that we need to justify in this way.
Making a good impression
If you listen to a conversation without being able to see who’s speaking, you can often tell how old people are by the specific words they use, and the way they frame their opinions and attitudes. But sometimes people who you assumed were really elderly turn out to not to be. Might one of them be you?
Perhaps you think it doesn’t matter in your daily life, talking with your friends and family, but it certainly does in situations when you want to make a good first impression, and also in the workplace where you need to hold your own against younger colleagues.
The good news is you don’t have to change much, just remember a few simple tips:
• Banish the word ‘ageing’ from your mind in relation to yourself – if you think ‘old’, you can guarantee you’ll start to sound that way too.
• Ensure your vocabulary is up-to-date. Unfortunately we can’t do much about the name we were given which often pigeon-holes us as being born in a particular era, but if you’re fond of using words like ‘wireless’, ‘chum’, ‘groovy’, you need to stop (there’s thousands more but you may not recognise how anachronistic they sound, so ask your friends and family if you’re not sure). Make sure also that you understand new acronyms (e.g.wifi, and BOMAD) and terminology (e.g. iPod, and McJob) which demonstrates that you are in the mainstream and up to date.
• Watch your intonation and breathing. Regardless of what they’re actually saying, some people just sound old because their voices lack enthusiasm or their posture and breathing is poor, creating a generally downbeat effect. Don’t let yourself physically slow down in this way. If in doubt, listen to a recording of yourself and be critical. Practice injecting more energy into your speech.
• Finally, be careful about extraneous noise such as sighs, grunts, groans or other elderly and unappealing sounds. Really old people tend to use them as both commentary and punctuation to their lives and also tend to irritate others hugely by doing so. For anyone except the truly elderly, they’re completely inappropriate. If you’re guilty of this, stop it at once!
• Finally, try not to be grumpy. We’re all allowed to be sometimes, but don’t make it your general approach.
Click here for more information about being Primetastic from in my prime